Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Secrets to a Long Lasting Marriage

Photo from here.

I would like to quote this article from Psych Central about the secrets to marriage that stands the test of time.  I completely agree to what they said, here are those.

1. Commit to the commitment - Marriage is not just about signing a contract.  It is a decision to be made by two mature individuals.  They will commit to make the commitment last. 

2. Give it all you've got - With commitment comes a hundred percent effort in maintaining the relationship.  It is not about who gives much or who gives less.  It is about giving 100 percent.

3. Bring a whole person to the marriage - Marriage is composed of two whole individuals who nurture each other.

4. Make time for each other - I think most marriages fail on this 4th secret most of the time.  Make time for yourself and for our partner.  It is nice to catch up on each others' lives, listen to each others' stories and laugh with the silliest day's happenings.

5. Be a team - The moment you sign a contract, you are also submitting your name to what should be the greatest team on the planet.

6. Learn how to engage in friendly fighting - This is an inevitable facet of marriage.  You will argue about things because you have different points.  It is absolutely normal but be sure to focus on the current and do not dig up old issues.  Listen to one another and resolve the issue once and for all.  Once the issue has been settled, agree to never dig it up and use it against each other.

7. Don't sweat the small stuff - Marriages that lasted to decades agree to one thing--they don't dwell on the small stuff and make it larger than what it really is.  We all have flaws and acceptance of these flaws is one of the things you agreed upon the moment you agreed to marry the person.

8. Do sweat small stuff - On the other hand, you yourself should know these flaws and give effort to be a better person.  It doesn't mean that once he or she has accepted your flaws, you will not do anything about it anymore.

9. Follow the 'golden rule' - Do not do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you.  It is that simple.  If you show love and devotion, it is love and devotion that you will get.  If you show indifference and distrust, it is indifference and distrust that you will get.

10. Be each other's greatest fan - Come on, who doesn't want to receive words of encouragement from one's partner?  We all want to feel the champion or number one in any one's life.

11. Make yourself appealing - Be beautiful inside and out.  Make efforts to be beautiful to the eyes of your partner to keep the fire burning.

12. Respect each other's families - You can't please every body but that doesn't mean you should lose respect from those people who doesn't care.  Just think of it this way, if it weren't for his or her family, your partner will never be born.

13. Make special days special - Remember the special days like your partner's birthday, your anniversary, your first date, the date you moved to a new house--all the dates that are important to both of you.  Reminisce those days, relive the moments and you'll find yourself falling in love with your partner all over again.

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